life after him
its shiny, purple, pretty, diva, beautiful, and lonely
What it does
When I ran this Kerr Black Hole simulation, I sorta realized I wasn’t only rendering astrophysics, I was also staring at a mirror of my own life.
The accretion disk that radiant sweeping band of purple starlight is basically the momentum of my days. It is still pretty, still shiny ,and I’m moving ahead, spinning with the charge of my ambitions and what comes next. From the outside perspective the halo looks mesmerizing. I am still glowing, still carrying the beautiful dust of my own cosmos, and I keep painting the dark canvas of space with sweeping colorful strokes.
But right at the center of all that movement there’s the singularity. It is a heavy quiet abyss left behind by Him. It behaves like a gravitational pit of loneliness, anchored right there, in the middle of my glowing schedule. I can be surrounded by the lovely spinning stars of my life, and still feel that inescapable silent pull of empty space. It is a darkness so dense that even the brightest moments, the most triumphant ones, sometimes seem to bend straight into it, like swallowed by the sheer weight of his absence. Still, this is the paradox of my grief, and also the heart vibe of my Simathon submission. The void is total, but it does not erase the light. The light hasnt vanished; it’s just learning how to live around the immense gravity of this loss. My life, kind of like the vibrant starlight in this simulation, keeps dancing along the edge of the event horizon—brilliant and defiant, even when the center feels impossibly lonely.